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Ensuring Compliance in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

Matt Luntley
Dec 13, 2017

Star Wars blog_iresized

Ahead of the release of The Last Jedi, our team look at ways Valpak could help the main antagonists comply with waste legislation.

It is the task of the First Order to remove the disorder from our own existence, so that civilization may be returned to the stability that promotes progress” – Kylo Ren

This statement of intent from one of the most senior members of the First Order shows their seriousness in ruling the universe and I don’t think it’s too far to say this statement is a fair judge of their steely determination to improve the environmental landscape too.

So if the largest organisation in The Galaxy wanted to conquer their environmental compliance issues and join the light side how would they go about it?

Perhaps the first thing to address will be years of non-compliance with the packaging regulations – The First Order clearly have a turnover exceeding £2 million pounds and handle more than 50t of packaging a year. By owning up to their non-compliance and offering to pay in to an environmental project, the First Order may be able to avoid prosecution. Valpak can help by calculating costs payable and submitting First Order’s application to the relevant authorities as well as recommending and coordinating environmental projects – we’d suggest a project to reverse the desertification of the planet Jakku. To find out more about Civil sanctions, click here

Complying with the Packaging WEEE and Battery regulations will be quite a challenge for First Order. Gathering data from their sphere of influence will be a huge task, made harder by the fact that many of their locations will be several thousand light years away from HQ – to complete their annual packaging submission for 2018 they would need to have started a few thousand years ago due to the delay. Our robust service offering already covers a large proportion of Earth but there is nothing to say our expertise couldn’t stretch outside of the Milky Way! I’m assured our team of experts have been working tirelessly researching the intricacies of complying with regulations within the Inner Rim and the Expansion Regions of The Galaxy Valpak’s Data team are the leaders in their field, so if anyone can help with such an enormous task, it would be them

It is unclear how many batteries the First Order will use, but their operation is very energy intensive. A good example is their military flagship, the Mega-class Star Destroyer spaceship, Supremacy – one shot of its cannon will use the energy of more than 2 billion AA batteries, more than three times the UK’s annual usage of AA batteries. Valpak could help by offering a free battery collection tube on each ship. Whilst Valpak are not familiar with the detailed workings of a Star Destroyer’s cannon, in the unlikely event that they are not powered by AA batteries, we could help them comply with their obligations under the Energy Savings Opportunity Scheme.

Valpak can also help First Order achieve their environmental goals. From cardboard, plastic, droids and blasters to star-destroying super weapons, Valpak can offer a one stop shop for all First Order’s waste management needs, ensuring waste is handled correctly at every step of the way. Whilst there may be little need to use landfill in the Unknown Regions of The Galaxy, Valpak can offer solutions to help push waste up the waste hierarchy – we can even offer software to help compare the recycling performance of different Star Destroyers. To find out more, click here.

First Order were asked for comment but their response isn’t expected for another 3 million light years.


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Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this weblog represent those of the individual authors and not those of Valpak Limited or any other organisation.